Buckle up, because today, we're diving deep into a topic that has been the bane of existence for many of us at some point in our lives ñ the relentless urge to care about what other people think!

Why do we do this? To open up a little bit about myself, I've spent I feel like my entire life caring what other people think. It's a two edge sword. On one hand I am super observant, I care about other people's needs and also don't want to be perceived in a negative way. But this backfires, being super observant means I am now hyperaware of facial expressions, tones of voices, and coming up with my own conclusions of what I think other people are thinking.

This is just built in man. It often is linked with social anxiety. So how can we continue to care about other people yet not care what they think? Well this is something I've been trying to figure out and I think I got some ideas. #6 is one you haven't heard before. (ew...did I just use that retention trick to keep him you watching? Yes I did, but number six really is unique)

Stop caring what people think

#1 - First of all, I almost cringe saying this but we have to embrace our uniqueness. Everybody is different. No one has to conform to someone else thinks or feels because you are you.

Embrace your quirks, your passions, and your style. Be proud of what makes you YOU, and you'll naturally care less about what others think because you're too busy loving yourself.

Wait, doesn't this make you selfish? This world is not an all or nothing thing. We can have both.

The world get so caught up in the, " i you don't think this way then you are wrong." no no no no. You be you. You can care about the person who has differing opinions and thoughts but you can also be yourself.

#2 - Challenge your thoughts. "I can't share my opinion in the meeting because everyone will think it's stupid, and they'll judge me." First, recognize that you're experiencing a negative and unhelpful thought related to the fear of judgment. Ask yourself, "Is there concrete evidence to support this thought?" Consider past experiences ñ have people always judged your opinions negatively? In most cases, you'll find that your fear is based on assumptions rather than solid proof. Now, question the validity of the thought by challenging it with rational questions.

Here is a better way to reframe this thought: "I can share my opinion in the meeting, and it's okay if some people disagree. Maybe they'll judge me, maybe they won't. Different perspectives can lead to a better discussion."

If you have been following me for a while, you know that we do not challenge OCD thoughts but we can challenge anxiety related thoughts, outside of the OCD realm.

#3 - Speaking of confidence... Build it. Easy right? Nah, I know it's not that easy. Him confidence building to me is challenging our thoughts and doing what we think is best for us. It's facing uncertainty and various fears in our life. For instance, I might care what somebody thinks about my appearance online, so I focus on making sure people are seeing my authentic self without any filters. I am challenging these thoughts with uncertainty that I really just don't know what other people think and ultimately it doesn't matter.

Saying something doesn't matter doesn't automatically mean we don't care about what other people think. We have to act like it doesn't matter. And then we do it again and then we do it again and then we do it again.

We learn to accept all possibilities. Somebody might like us. Somebody might not. They might judge us, they might not. There may be conflict but maybe not. If something does not go the way we hoped, it's a learning experience and a confidence booster versus just conform to what they say.

By staying confident, we are risking the negativity sometimes in life. When somebody has an opinion we don't agree with, we can often answer it with I respect your opinion.

#4 - Accept all judgement. Welcome it. We all know the fear of judgment can be paralyzing. It's like having a spotlight on your every move, and the audience is filled with critics ready to pounce. It's no wonder we sometimes lose ourselves in trying to please everyone. But here's the kicker: You can't please everyone, and that's perfectly okay!

#5 - The comparison trap - Ever scroll through social media and think, "Wow, everyone else's life is perfect"? Well, welcome to the comparison trap, where we measure our worth against carefully curated highlight reels. But guess what? Those highlight reels often hide the struggles and imperfections we all have. Nobody's life is perfect - actually I want you to mistakes on purpose.

Wait what? Yes!

#6 - make mistakes on purpose. This may sound strange but when we purposely make small mistakes and sit with the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what others think it helps us tolerate uncertainty a little bit better. The small mistake might be sending a text message with poor grammar. Maybe it's getting up to the cash register and after they scans the item you tell them you've made a mistake don't want it anymore. When we do this with retraining our brain in mind it can make quite the difference. We accept all judgments and accept life for life.

Here is what this all really comes down to. If you are somebody that cares what other people think, it might be near impossible for you to let this go. However, you have the ability to not fall for any negative thinking that comes from this as well as learn to do what ever you would like to do in your life. Even without the approval of others.

When anxiety jumps in, it is typically based off of a complete guess. I think that persons judging me. What will they think of me doing this thing. What if everyone laughs at me? And the list goes on and on and on. We must challenge these thoughts and focus only on the problems when they arise.

I want to know if you caring what other people think affects your life? Let me know down in the comments.

Challenging thoughts can be so powerful and I go over how to master this in this video right here. Go watch it right now you can literally change your life in perspective.