Distractions hurt us

Hey! Nathan Peterson here! Clinical therapist. Distractions can be harmful. But I'm not just going to tell you why, but give you research-based alternatives, so watch the whole thing so you don't miss it.

How many times do you pick up your phone throughout the day? Have you ever turned it on, just to find out you don't really have a reason? This is super common. It become a habit. We may have a difficult time just being bored or having a free moment with nothing to do. We often distract ourselves with mindless scrolling, games, TV's, movies, books, and really...well anything.

So why is this so bad? Well, not all distraction is bad, but it can often turn into a compulsion. A compulsion can be anything we're doing to not face life, triggers, and anxiety. It can turn into harmful avoidance and an excuse to get out of socializing.

Think about this for a moment. I keep having intrusive OCD thought that my relationship is wrong and I'm unsure if I picked the right person, despite no tangible evidence. The anxiety is unbearable. This thought pounds through my head all day long. In order to not think about it, I grab my phone and turn on some music, I play a game, I may even plug my ears and say, la la la la la la la la.

This distraction worked....well, temporarily. It got that thought to go away, but it will come back with a vengeance. I've not only taught my brain that this thought actually has value, but that I need to keep thinking about it because I haven't problem solved it yet. The urge to distract again will even be stronger, because we've trained our brain that this worked! We make it so that we're unable to tolerate discomfort.

Habituation with exposures

Here is another way to think about it. I'm ready to go swimming, I start walking down the stairs, my feet get that shot of cold water and I say. NOPE! NOT TODAY! I didn't attempt to tolerate the water. I avoided and moved away from it. My brain at this point only knows that the water is cold and you can't handle it. Which is actually untrue. The water may be cold, but if you stayed in long enough, you would have realized that your body got used to it.

We need our bodies to get use to being uncomfortable. Whether it's an intrusive thought. I was triggered or I'm meeting up with new friends. I need to continue living life.

Here is a good measure of if your distraction is healthy or unhealthy. When we're busy, we're moving closer to our values and don't really have anything to worry about. We enjoy it. It's a natural process. I typically watch a show while I eat lunch. I check my social media in the morning.

The key to know is when your distractions are forced. I picked up my phone to watch a show because I was feeling uncomfortable. It wasn't part of my normal flow. I pushed a thought away because it's uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say with a group of people, so I pulled out my phone to look "busy".

Think about that word. Forced. You may ask yourself this next time you're using some distractions. Am I forcing this? Am I avoiding anything? What happens if I don't distract right now. Would I be okay? If you're not sure, try it. See how you feel.

Ultimately, here is the harm. Our brain learns and adapts to everything we do. If we continue teaching it that we can't "handle" anxiety, fear, social situations, or just being uncomfortable. Then this becomes the new normal. Individuals get to a point where the anxiety that was mild now becomes extreme because they haven't faced it in a long time.

Think about that with anything we do. The longer you don't practice a skill, the more you forget how to do it and are not as proficient with it.

Cool Nate! So don't distract, what do I do instead? Well, I'm glad you asked!

Treatment for distraction compulsions

Here is what you're going to do! Be with it, tolerate, and move closer to the perceived threat. We can use a combination of exposure and response prevention and mindfulness. If you have OCD, and have an intrusive thought, we allow the thought to be there. Don't push, don't get on our phone, don't distract. We be in the moment and respond differently. "I'm not sure if I am dishonest" (with no evidence) my response, "sure" "yep" "okay" "maybe, maybe not". I'm feeling all the feelings, I'm engaging with it in a whole new way. Choosing to not problem solve. I'm almost inviting the thought to be there. The more I keep it around, the more it actually doesn't want to stay around.

I repeat this process for the next intrusive thought and the next one. I may go out of my way to pause the tv show or put down my phone, so I can be with my thoughts and feel all the feels.

In social situations, I challenge you to not pull your phone out. Teenagers, I'm looking at you! Well, really anyone. See what happens. You may be the only one of the few not staring at a screen. It may open your eyes to the world around you. You may feel uncomfortable and even anxious. But that's good. That's what we want. To tolerate the feelings and give opportunities to communicate.

To have the mindset of, "I am accepting this anxiety" I'm willing to tolerate it as long as it takes until it reduces on its own. Just like being in that swimming pool, your body will adjust and learn. The cool part is, you get use to it, you become stronger and can handle being uncomfortable.

Also, as we distract, what else are we missing out on. An opportunity to help someone else? A missed conversation? A learning opportunity.

By not distracting, we're opening the doors and allowing life to be life and in the process retraining some misfiring that happens in the brain of all these unnecessary perceived threats.

Maybe you take away one distraction you might do a day and build from there! Let me know in the comments which one you'll choose.

Also, knowing how to respond to intrusive thoughts are important, I created a video to help you own your intrusive thoughts and help you take control. Go watch that right now.