Okay Nate. Exposure therapy for OCD seems to be the best option. But I can't do it. My fear can actually come true. This is a common misconception. I'm going to show you how to do exposures even if your actual fear can come true.

For some their fear is illogical and not even possible. Something like, I'm going to get high, by watching someone on TV get high. No, doesn't work that way and if this isn't your fear, you can hear this and say, well, duh. But for this person, it may feel so dangerous and so risky. Exposures should seem simple, but they can feel wildly difficult.

So for you who's fear actually can come true. Would you risk facing this fear? Well, because you don't really have a choice. And here's what I mean. I find that individuals spend so much time avoiding a trigger or a fear, that this ends up taking control of their life. Insomuch that they aren't living life.

Here is an example. Meet Sarah is a 28-year-old woman who lives in a sunny coastal town. She has always been afraid of getting skin cancer. She's seen friends and family members go through skin cancer scares and treatments, and the thought terrifies her. So, Sarah decided to take every precaution possible to avoid sun exposure.

Every morning, Sarah wakes up and covers herself from head to toe with SPF 100 sunscreen. She wears long-sleeved shirts, long pants, and a wide-brimmed hat.

Sarah's fear has led her to avoid outdoor activities she once loved. She used to enjoy picnics, beach outings, and hiking, but now she can't bear the thought of being exposed to the sun's harmful rays. Sarah's social life has dwindled. She's declined countless invitations to outdoor events, and her friends have stopped inviting her altogether. She's lonely, but the thought of being in the sun terrifies her more than the loneliness.

She checks her skin for any new moles or discolorations multiple times a day.

So, while this fear is possible. Look at all the things Sarah is doing. What if she does all of these things and still get skin cancer. And what if she doesn't. Is our life defined by avoiding possible problems and not enjoying the present moment? I don't think so.

Here's how we do exposures for a threat that could actually happen. Guess what I would probably have Sarah do? I would have her live her life. I would ask questions like, would you normally wear sunscreen all day long? Would you normally go on a hike? Would you normally want to check your moles? Do you want to hang out with your friends?

We start developing what life looks like without this fear. People automatically think that exposures mean that this person needs to go suntanning every day for hours. Never wear sunscreen. It's always the extreme things that come to people's mind. But really what it looks like is, there would need to risk getting skin cancer by walking outside in the sun. Each scenario is going to be different. If I'm going to school every day do I need to put sunscreen on? Vs. I'm going to the beach for the day.

When it is a no-brainer, we don't have to question it. We might specifically set guidelines of when sunscreen can be worn. When somebody can avoid the sun. When somebody can check a mole.

We then get to work. Exposure might be, this person is walking down the street in the middle of the day with the sun shining down on them. They're using various responses like, I may or may not get skin cancer. I may or may not be risking my entire future. Skin cancer might take my life.

Here's the thing, we actually are risking skin cancer. But in a normal life way. Because this allows us to continue living life. We don't even need to do anything extreme. Really what it all comes down to is can I live my life according to what makes me happy and follow my values? This might be a sunburn every once in a while. And every time a thought comes of possible skin cancer, we are leaving it uncertain. Anything is possible, were not sure, thanks for the thought.

If the fear actually comes true, we get to problem solve something. So as mentioned earlier, we can live in fear and protect or we can live life free and risk these things. Because what all comes down to is that if the catastrophe happened, we couldn't pinpoint it being that one time 30 years ago you didn't wear sunscreen.

I'm using this example of skin cancer, but individuals can apply this to many things. The loss of a job. A relationship, legal issues, really anything.

It often is doing what you would do if you didn't have this fear and if you didn't have OCD or anxiety.

Some might take a moment and write down what this would look like. If I didn't have this fear I wouldn't check my email hundred times a day. So guess what were knocking to do, check your email hundred times a day.

I'm going to be willing to sit with this uncomfortable feeling and use responses as if I really just do not care. I will count on my body my brain to take care of a problem when there's a problem. It becomes easier the more we continue to live life the way you want to.

For a more step-by-step guide on how to do exposures with worksheets and videos go see my master your OCD course. I'll link that down in the description.

Also let me know in the comments, what have been your fears that you feel like her too hard to overcome.