When OCD says you WILL do something
Aug 16, 2023OCD Demands instead of what ifs
Hey there! So, you've been reading about OCD and how it often involves those tricky "what if" scenarios, right? Well, you might be thinking. “my situation is a bit different”, How? Your OCD is a demanding one! Instead of saying "what if," it tells you straight up, "You will do this." Talk about intense, huh?
Have you ever heard of intrusive demands? That's what I call these specific thoughts or urges that feel like they're bossing you around like they're demanding that you take a certain action or follow a particular rule. They can show up in all sorts of ways, like thoughts that push you towards inappropriate or violent actions, or demands related to cleanliness and hygiene rituals.
Surprisingly, not many people talk about this aspect of OCD, even though it's quite common.
Here's the crazy part: even though these demands feel so real, most people like you don't actually give in to them. In fact, you do everything in your power to resist them. But boy, oh boy, can anxiety make things feel out of control! It's like pouring fuel on the fire of these demands.
Now, here's something important to keep in mind: whether it's a demanding thought or a pesky "what if" scenario, it's essentially the same thing. It's just a thought that happened to choose the demanding route with you. Sneaky, huh? But here's the silver lining: you always have a choice, my friend, no matter how convincing that demand feels.
OCD says you will do it
Think about it: how many times have you had this demanding thought and still managed to resist its urge? I bet it's been hundreds, maybe even thousands of times! Doesn't that tell you something? It tells you that you're stronger than these demands, and you can make a choice. And not because you did a compulsion. This is the trick OCD plays. Because I choose to avoid, ask for reassurance, or think my way through it…that’s why I’m safe.
Remember this always: you have the power to choose, no matter what.
I didn’t just create this video to give you some reassurance. Instead, I wanted to tell you what you can do about these demanding thoughts.
When I tell people the treatment for this, they often reply with, “woah. That’s way to risky for me. I might actually do it.”
Well, that’s what we’re willing to risk and if you think about all your options, what other choice do you have? For real though.
Option 1: continue doing the compulsions hoping that this magically goes away.
Option 2: risk by not doing the compulsion and realize that you actually weren’t going to do what you thought you’d do. Thus proving that they were false alarms and feelings.
We can never be 100% sure, which is why we call it a risk. But it’s worth it.
So how do you risk? Well, we use exposure and response prevention of course. This means I may be working toward facing my fear instead of pull away from it.
Here’s an example. Without fail, every time I am up on a high ledge, my brain might tell me to jump. Not a what if. But you will. Anxiety starts to flow. My heart rate rises.
My normal instinct would be to step away to make sure this catastrophe doesn’t happen. But at this point, my brain is only learning that the only reason I didn’t jump was because I backed away.
Instead, what I need to do is actually stay in the place that I’m at and act is if this threat doesn’t matter.
How to respond to OCD demands?
I’m using a lof of phrases to teach my brain that it’s threats are meaningless. Sure, I could. Maybe, I will. Anything is possible. I guess we’ll see. Maybe I’m saying, cool. Sure. Yep. These phrases keep us with uncertainty and allows you to no longer problem solve.
Instead, you’re more focused on sitting with the fear. Often allowing that anxiety to drop over time and realizing that you didn’t jump. But wait! I thought you were in danger. If you didn’t jump AND you didn’t didn’t back away or try to convince yourself that you weren’t in danger. Then why are you safe?
That’s exactly what we’re teaching the brain. It’s going to have to take a step back and realize that the threats it threw out may have not been accurate.
But I know what happens. OCD tries one more trick. But but but, what about next time? Guess what we do next time? The same thing. We need constancy to teach the brain to stop throwing out the threats.
So what do you think? I bet you’re thinking…Well, mine is different. Too risky. Nope, nope, nope. Don’t fall for it. If you have OCD. Do what my Mandalorian friend says. “This is the way.”
Don’t forget the step-by-step master your ocd course to help you through this process as well. I’ll link that down in the description.
Also tell me down in the comments, what your OCD fear is.