If you have OCD you know that seeking reassurance is an incredibly common compulsion. I mean that is the essence of what OCD wants you to do. Know for sure if your fear is true or not. It starts by providing all these ideas of how you can do this. Go ask your parent, research online, and keep reminding yourself that it's okay.

Reassurances gets a bad rap. I mean you're told not to do it yet it can be helpful in some instances. Can you have assurances in your life? Heck yes! So what is the difference between providing assurance versus reassurance? I'm glad you asked.

I am going to teach you when it is okay to seek for reassurance and when it is not. And for you support people when to give it and when not to.

As a licensed OCD specialist I've seen hundreds of people and have realized that not all reassurance is bad. Here is the kind of reassurance that I'm talking about.

Take out the Re look for Assurance. It's not to help the person gain certainty but more help them build motivation. Here's what it might look like.

Think of this like a detective on a mission. They have a goal in mind and may not be sure exactly how to get there. Providing assurance means that you are supporting them on their journey. Statements like "You can do this" "I know you can do hard things." "I'll be with you every step of the way." Let me assure you that you've got this. Yes for some people this can even be a compulsion. I think a bit more as a way to validate their feelings.

But did you know that outside of the realm of OCD it's okay to give specific assurances based in information and evidence. Meaning, man I'm really nervous about this speech that I'm going to give. The response is, I know you can do this. You've proven that you have done this before. Just imagine the audience in their underwear.

Difference between reassurance and assurance

So how is this different than reassurance? Reassurance is often based on complete guesss.

Whe when somebody with OCD asks a reassuring question, they need to understand that the answer that they are going to be given is not always factual. Here is an example. Someone might say,

I am really worried about my sexual orientation, to think I'm attracted to them? Okay, how would I really know this answer to give a good response? When questions like this are mixed with anxiety and urges to know right now this moment so important. We don't give reassurance. If it's a general thought with no anxiety there could be assurances that are given. You know I really don't know my friend, I am confident that you will figured out at some point. Let's go through your thought process.

Man this is getting confusing. Here is ultimately what you need to know. If you are looking for reassurance because of OCD we try as hard as you can to not do it. What you do want is support and love. Have someone assure you that you are awesome. Find someone to be in your corner with you.

And if you're not sure why reassurance can be harmful. Gathering information or evidence about your fears or obsessions Is like saying, I don't trust myself and am always going to need somebody to tell me I'm okay. The more we try to find evidence towards a fear the more people tend to doubt in question over and over again.

Assurance = offering understanding, empathy, and support

Reassurance = offering evidence, guesses, and information.

One of these is helpful and one is not. As mentioned, every person is different and so you find what works for you long-term.

Did you know that I take you through OCD treatment step-by-step in my Master your OCD course? I have a specific worksheet that helps you understand all the reassurance seeking that you do and how to stop it. I'll link that down below.

You are amazing. What is one reassurance question that you're going to try not to do today? Let me know down on the comments. And to build your motivation and kick this thing once and for all go watch this video right here.